so, its been a minute since I last wrote- what a crazy ass year huh?! It's been that way for a few years now for me, - let me explain. I stepped out of my 20 year corporate job in October 2018 to trust the pullings of my intuition and heart to walk the path of what I always felt I wanted and should be doing; Energy Light Healings. I carefully planned it all; the money, the places, the certifications, my partner in life and business and with all hope in place, I stepped out!! - less than 2 weeks later- 10 days to be precise, I went into Identity crisis with the loss of my partnered relationship that involved a gun at my head-which was completely out of the realm of normal life as I had known it - and soon after, many of my other relationships started to end as my family and close friends were clueless as to what to do and what was happening to me. My securities and my foundation of regular income were now gone, I quickly lost the idea of myself and I became completely lost in my own orientation of what to do. I stayed there in crisis pretty much all of 2019 as I began to unwrap the chaos of crumbled structures I had known before and tried to continue trusting what I wondered now was my calling. I spent most of the year just hoping there was a silver lining somewhere that I had been overlooking when 2020 happened and everyone started to join me there! What the hell?! It was no longer my own personal struggle inward but it seemed now that my entire outer world was heading right into the shadow I was trying to get out of. Now don't get me wrong, I was happy to have some company but watching all those around me go diving into that phase of fear and chaos where I had not yet found any light in, was not exactly the picture of a healer that I had imagined. I was deep in needing to hold my grounding and center now all day at the hospital; which I had just started working at to help me generate a steady income again and as an empath that feels the energies and is obtaining felt information constantly, I absolutely had to learn my energetic boundaries and how to hold them while continuing to be open and helpful, as quickly as possible!! - Even more importantly was my life at home with myself and my youngest teenage son who was really feeling despair at the world he was supposed to become an adult in. He was lost as he watched all his teachers struggle and feel unsure about anything that they were previously stubbornly sure of. He was pretty sure that much of the world was lost to any clear direction and felt depressed by it. We did not get to see the stabilities of our communities step up as they often did during catastrophes prior because all communities were affected. The strength of those unaffected has been to help the sick and spread the message of hope and community as much as possible. I took many many controlled breaths in and connected myself to Mother Earth minute by minute some days. I sent light out to my communities as many nights as I could muster, I held prayers at the park with like minded people for our youth and finally I learned to trust the wisdom that happens during the transformations that always, always start with chaos. To be honest with you all, I do not feel I have been much of healer in the big scope of my idea of it. My intent has mainly been to do "no harm" and be used as a tool in which comfort and peace could flow through;-however it is needed. I am still in this role as healer with the now accepted position of being ok with it looking however it may look and whatever it means to be a healer in today's work of it. so, however that comes to be on any given day; whether it is a healing, holding space, a truthful and kind word, a much needed hug or simply listening completely to what another has to say, I'm here..
Today I am becoming comfortable with the new blessings that have started to come with my willingness to let whatever may be, to be. I am able to allow the wins to settle deep in my heart for inspiration and Today I have hope that the silver lining is what we will all come to see, together in the near future; the new ways in which we will come to replace the old crumbling structures that were not really working anyway. Today I have trust that the laws of the Universe will reassign new meanings and foundations that are much more supportive of the human race and all living entities of our world; one that it has been crying out for, for years;
Today I believe a beautiful new Earth for us and our youth is being birthed and I hope you do too because that is the healing we all need.
When I look back, It is a surreal dream that I assume will wake me with the next headline and yet, I am so incredibly thankful that we are all still here to carry on.
May God bless and keep each one of you!
Thank you for being here.
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